— Tanya, where is your granulated sugar? — Nastya rummaged again through her kitchen drawers, — Why do you keep moving it around?
Tanya was thoroughly fed up with these sudden visits from Sasha’s sister. And it wasn’t just her—if it were only her, it might have been forgivable. No, she dragged along her entire family—her husband Tolik, their son Kirikhuha, and her dachshund Jerry.
These visits always ended disastrously. Kirikhuha ran around the apartment, invariably dropping or breaking something, Jerry left “gifts” on the rug, and Tolik sat, eyes glued to his smartphone, ignoring everything around him.
Tanya had hinted more than once to Sasha that it was time to delicately explain to her relatives that their home wasn’t a public passageway, and that it would be better either to give advance notice of a visit or to meet like all normal families at celebrations.
But every time, Sasha hesitated and began to play the pity card.
The fact was that Nastya and Tolik had long been out of work. They used to work together at the same firm, and after it closed, hard times followed. For a while, Tolik even worked as a taxi driver, but the income was meager while the expenses were high. Therefore, they decided that at home, the father was more needed, and they continued searching for work.
They would come to Tanya’s house to feed themselves. Almost every day they rummaged through her cabinets and refrigerator in search of food. But what outraged Tanya even more was that Nastya always picked out the most refined and expensive items. No one wanted a simple canned soup. Everyone preferred quality cheese, expensive chocolate, fruits, and, in winter, vegetables.
When seasonal cucumbers cost more than beef, Tanya would buy a single cucumber just to add a ring to a sandwich. Meanwhile, Nastya would simply crunch on the vegetable, generously sprinkling it with salt.
The same happened with the first cherries of the season and watermelons.
The sister-in-law would come with her family, as if sensing that Tanya had already acquired something from the new harvest.
— Kira! — Tanya shouted, but it was already too late; Kirill had leaped onto the sofa running, the cushion rebounded and struck the nearby table. A water glass fell to the floor and shattered.
— Okay, Kirill, don’t move, Aunt Tanya is going to clean everything up! — Nastya screamed, — oh, come on, the glass is just a glass; the most important thing is that the boy is unharmed.
— Nastya, these glasses were even brought by your father from Germany; they’re priceless! — Tanya said bitterly.
— And why do you put out expensive tableware if you have visitors with children? I’ve already put everything away at my place—in a cupboard and locked up.
— Maybe because we don’t invite anyone with children; they just come on their own? — Tanya couldn’t hold back any longer.
— Oh my, Tanya, can you really treat relatives like that? We’re not strangers. So what if it’s just a glass. It’s an object! You can always buy a new one, but relatives are your own, dear ones.
— Fine, sorry. I lost my temper. — Tanya apologized guiltily, gathering up the shards.
— Exactly! So, what’s for lunch today? — the sister-in-law asked, rubbing her hands together.
The New Year holidays were approaching, and if Tanya and Sasha had managed to dodge the relatives on New Year’s Eve by booking a table at a café with colleagues, the upcoming holidays frightened Tanya. And not without reason.
Every day, the sister-in-law and her family would hang around their apartment. First, they came to finish off what was left after the celebration. Then, they’d show Kirikhuha cartoons on a big screen. They claimed their TV was smaller, and here it was like a movie theater, so the child was entertained and the parents could relax.
The ultimate act of brazenness came when Tolik asked Sasha to take Jerry for a walk.
— And you? — Sasha asked in surprise.
— It’s cold out there, and I didn’t put on the right boots. What’s it to you? — Tolik clearly didn’t understand what was odd about his request.
— Tolik, Kirikhuha, to the table! — Nastya shouted from the kitchen, as if she were the mistress of the house.
— Hey, aren’t you going to invite anyone else? — Tanya was already stunned by such impudence.
— So, Sasha will walk with Jerry, and you’ll probably join him?
As if to confirm the absurdity of the situation, Jerry lifted his short leg and made a generous puddle.
— Oh, how nice, we might not even have to go for a walk, — Nastya laughed, — clean up after him, because we’ve already started eating, and our hands are clean.
Time went on, and work still wasn’t found. Tanya barely survived the New Year chaos and now, before the summer holidays, she stocked up on patience, courage, and valerian.
— Tanya, next week we’re not coming over; our friends have invited us to their country house. — Nastya said sadly, but Tanya was ready to dance at such news.
— Well, of course, go and have a rest, — she said with a sorrowful face, — but what are you frying? Are these steaks?
— Yep, found them in your freezer. Barely found them, by the way—you seemed to have hidden them. — the sister-in-law smirked.
— Do you understand that these are for Sasha? I wanted to prepare his favorite steaks for a romantic anniversary dinner! — Tanya shouted.
— Oh, there’s still time, just buy some more! — Nastya waved her hand dismissively.
— I’m tired of restocking everything! Food, tableware, cleaning cloths! How long are we going to keep this up?
— Well, you’re upset, of course, I understand… Hush, hush, calm down. We’ll talk later.
— We won’t talk! Get out! — Tanya snatched the oven mitt and tongs from her hand. — Out of our apartment!
Nastya looked at her with a mixture of astonishment and fear.
— Are you out of your mind? Boys, we’re leaving! Aunt Tanya has completely lost it. — Hastily, she backed out the door.
For the entire following week, Nastya relished the silence, tranquility, and good food. She prepared various dinners for Sasha, they watched movies in the evenings, and even brought out beautiful glasses for sparkling wine.
— It’s like we’re in a second honeymoon period. — she said dreamily to her husband.
— And don’t even say it! It’s definitely better without them, — Sasha agreed, — I hope they’ll find work.
— Sasha, why should they look for work? They eat at our place, get pocket money from their parents, and their mother buys everything for Kirikhuha. They’ve got it made.
— Do you really think they aren’t looking for work?
— I suppose not. When else would they look for work if they’re hanging around here all day?
— I never even thought about that. — Sasha said thoughtfully.
— Because you’re busy with your own affairs. We have to somehow push them toward independence, or else I won’t be able to stand them all summer.
— But how? I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
— Hurt them we must; they just don’t understand any other way, but fortunately, I’ve already figured out what to do. Just last week, when Nastya dug into the freezer and started frying my steaks.
— And what happened?
— Your sister’s family now eats at our place—for a fee, — she shocked him, — borscht for 400 rubles.
— Tanya, what?
— What did you hear. I’m tired of shopping around at the markets. My wallet isn’t elastic. We can’t afford to support two families…
— Are you serious? — Nastya managed to call her brother to find out what was going on.
— Yes, everything’s fine.
— Excellent, we’ll be there soon. — Without waiting for an answer, Nastya hung up.
— They’re coming. — Sasha gave his wife a sly look.
— Splendid! — she smirked.
As usual, the guests rushed straight to the kitchen as soon as they arrived.
— What’s for lunch? We’re starving at the country house; the hosts have taken up a healthy lifestyle, so there’s nothing to eat there! Imagine, there’s only bananas that are edible. So there we were, sitting like monkeys on those bananas.
Everyone took a seat at the table, and Tolik rubbed his hands together. Jerry settled at his feet, just in case the host accidentally dropped something delicious.
— What would you like? — Tanya straightened up like a professional waitress.
— What do you mean, are there choices? — Tolik asked happily.
— Of course. Here, I even printed out a menu for you. — Tanya handed them three brightly colored pages.
— Wow! Awesome! — Kirill exclaimed in admiration.
— Tanya, what are these numbers? Look here, “mashed potatoes with a cutlet — 350.” Is that weight? Why would we need weight, we’re not inspectors. — Nastya laughed.
— No, that’s the price. Mashed potatoes with a cutlet is 350 rubles per serving, and the borscht is 400 rubles. I highly recommend the borscht! Yesterday I bought an expensive piece of beef with a gorgeous bone—finger-licking good! — Tanya helpfully guided them through the menu.
— Hey, what’s this? Are you really going to charge us? — Tolik’s jaw dropped in surprise.
— Yes, of course. I can’t possibly keep feeding you for free forever. Sasha is about to leave work; we can’t afford to be extravagant, you understand. — Tanya shrugged sympathetically.
— Sasha, is that true? Why are you leaving work? — Nastya asked her brother in alarm.
— I’m tired, I want a break. I’ll watch my big TV and eat steaks. Whatever I want! We’ll now be visiting you. — his wife’s husband played along.
— Folks, let’s save the chatter for later—order while it’s still hot. — Tanya interrupted him, — maybe I’ll serve some red fish for an appetizer; are there any sausages? Fish and meat platters are 200 rubles each. That’s practically cost price! You’d be silly not to order.
Tolik and Nastya exchanged glances.
Nastya couldn’t hold it in any longer.
— Did you fall from a tree or something, pulling money out of relatives? We’re unemployed!
— So are we. — Tanya replied shortly.
— Your husband still has a job!
— And yours will soon if you start looking for one instead of just hanging around here. Nastya, seriously, the borscht will get cold. — To prove it, Tanya embraced the pot with her hands and abruptly pulled them away, — no, still hot. Shall I pour it? For three people, it’ll be 1,200, — she reached for the ladle.
— Let’s get out of this absurd theater! — Nastya suddenly stood up, nearly knocking over a chair, and Jerry yelped in surprise.
The family began to shuffle toward the exit.
— This will come back to haunt you! — the sister-in-law hissed, before slamming the door behind her.
At first, Tanya feared that they would quickly forget everything and return to their usual routines, but Nastya took serious offense. She told her parents that her daughter-in-law had “lost her mind.” One moment she was kicking them out of the house, and the next she was demanding money for food, as if she were running a restaurant. Tanya and Sasha could only laugh as her mother relayed these conversations to him.
However, a month later, Tolik managed to get a job— and not just any job, but one in his specialty.
For better or worse, the sister-in-law stopped bringing her family over, and from then on they only met at family celebrations. Everything was just as Tanya had dreamed.
Of course, not a single gathering went by without stories about the crazy daughter-in-law and her 400-ruble borscht. Tanya didn’t care. The main thing was that she had once again become the undisputed mistress of her own home.”